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Friends in Low Places 2: John Stamos is a saint!

December 6, 2008

LOOK! It’s back. And better than ever… Damn we’re funny!

CHEDDAR: brb I have to go search the archives briefly
CHEDDAR:  back
DUBS:  yes!
DUBS: you didn’t die
CHEDDAR: well now that they are organized it’s much easier
CHEDDAR: not to die
DUBS:  whenever you can cut down on your chances not to die, that’s a plus
CHEDDAR:  true

DUBS:  that’s too many words
CHEDDAR: you are the laziest person ever
CHEDDAR: still not convinced you actually know how to read
DUBS:  hahahahah
DUBS: shit
DUBS: you’ve finally figured out that i’m actually on gchat when my interns are here b/c I have them type for me
CHEDDAR: not surprising
CHEDDAR: that explains how you manage anything slightly humorous
DUBS:  is that an insult for me or congrats for my intern lackies?
CHEDDAR:  both
DUBS:  I figured as much
CHEDDAR:  anytime I can insult you and praise people I don’t know over you is a good day for me
DUBS: I was just gonna say — I’m kind of impressed.
CHEDDAR:  I suppose this one is more your speed
CHEDDAR: Pretty pictures and cake
DUBS:  you know me so well

DUBS: hahahahha
DUBS: OK so there was just a Comcast commercial on, I swear the guy in it was Craig T. Nelson
DUBS: that made me cry b/c I love him and he’s been reduced to stupid commercials
CHEDDAR:  reduced?
CHEDDAR: when was he ever above that?
DUBS: Who the fuck are you?
DUBS: One word:
DUBS: “Coach”
CHEDDAR: Coach? seriously?
CHEDDAR: I can’t believe we’re friends
DUBS: omg, neither can I
DUBS: what’s wrong with you?
CHEDDAR:  right back at you
DUBS:  wow
DUBS: we may have to go on a break
DUBS: wait
DUBS: I’ve thought about it and I can accept it
CHEDDAR:  You wish you knew how to quit me

TWIN: FINALLY
TWIN: someone who wants to be Iceman.
CHEDDAR: haha
TWIN: 😉
CHEDDAR: it’s only fair
CHEDDAR: plus that means I get to do that teeth snapping thing

CHEDDAR: we opened the season with a loss to unranked UCLA
CHEDDAR: my nemesis
CHEDDAR: I wasn’t completely convinced i would ever be able to show my face in california again
TWIN: haha
CHEDDAR: until I remembered that people in cali don’t care about college football
TWIN: yep.
CHEDDAR: thank goodness

TWIN: and i want pancakes.
CHEDDAR: I almost made pancakes but decided not to wake up trevor by digging around in the pans cabinet
TWIN: i’m talking banana walnut pancakes.
CHEDDAR: whoa
TWIN: yeah
CHEDDAR: that’s a different story
CHEDDAR: intense
TWIN: the diner near me makes them
TWIN: amAzing.
CHEDDAR: wow
CHEDDAR: I’m pretty jealous

TWIN: torts is sooo boring today.
TWIN: my god.
CHEDDAR: boo torts
CHEDDAR: i prefer tortes
TWIN: me too!
CHEDDAR: also tartes

CHEDDAR: question
007: yessss….
007: i may have an answer
CHEDDAR: why does being a responsible adult suck so much?
007: HAHAHAHAHA
CHEDDAR: why be responsible if it’s just going to bite me in the ass?
007: exactly!
CHEDDAR: lame
007: i don’t get my jollies off being a good person, why did i have to be bred to believe in justice?
CHEDDAR: seriously
CHEDDAR: what the hell

DUBS: where are you guys going this weekend?
CHEDDAR: fuckin magnolia state
CHEDDAR: checkin it off the list
CHEDDAR: and never going back

CHEDDAR: This will end in disaster
GINGER: hahaha
GINGER: what are they thinking
CHEDDAR: the two worst clubs in their respective leagues get together for the ultimate demonstration of ineptitude
GINGER: ahahah
GINGER: they somehow both manage to lose
GINGER: “From a practical standpoint, the Quakes coaching staff and some players probably will train at Tottenham to better learn its style. ”
GINGER: hahahahaha
CHEDDAR: although technically I’d say Spurs football is much better than Quakes football
CHEDAR: this will end badly

CHEDDAR: also awesome
GINGER: keep on rockin’, bakersfield
CHEDDAR: seriously
GINGER: haha, “identified himself as Nigel Patterson”
GINGER: what are you doing, dude?
CHEDDAR: and people wonder why nobody wants to go there
CHEDDAR: Nigel?
CHEDDAR: what is he, a british butler?
GINGER: haha, exactly
CHEDDAR: Bakersfield: lazy hookers, 20-year-olds with guns & LA’s smog
GINGER: i think you just found the new city slogan
CHEDDAR: they can put it on a sign
GINGER: also, the lazy hooker would be a great name for a bar
CHEDDAR: true. I’ll keep that in mind
GINGER: can you say for certain it’s not already on a sign?
CHEDDAR: good point
GINGER: or at least somewhere in their promotional literature?

CHEDDAR: please promise that something like this is not written about me in the paper if I ever turn up dead
CHEDDAR: “Or is the story of McQuarrie – a 27-year-old Morgan Hill loner with mental problems who left behind a ferret and questions – a murder mystery?”

CHEDDAR: please don’t talk about ER
CHEDDAR: that show jumped the shark when george clooney left
DUBS: no fucking way
DUBS: Parminder is on that show
CHEDDAR: and?
DUBS: it’s the shit
DUBS: or at least it was
CHEDDAR: boooo
CHEDDAR: any show that let John Stamos on it is not the shit
DUBS: TAKE THAT BACK
CHEDDAR: no thanks
DUBS: John Stamos is a saint!
CHEDDAR: he got divorced from rebecca romijn
CHEDDAR: who does that
CHEDDAR: also, according to wikipedia he was offered a part on The Wiggles

CHEDDAR: I need a costume for this year
CHEDDAR: I’m not convinced the panda is gonna fly
DUBS: when you say panda, do you mean your costume from like 12 years ago?
CHEDDAR: from 7th grade
CHEDDAR: still fits
CHEDDAR: just the legs only go to my knees
CHEDDAR: “she had a big ass then, she’s got a big ass now”
CHEDDAR: it’s crazy to think that I’ve grown like a foot since 7th grade
DUBS: why won’t it fly?
CHEDDAR: it’s really hot so if we were going out I would probably just be sweating buckets
CHEDDAR: or take the hood part off
DUBS: hahahahahahhaha
DUBS: I assume you’d take the hood off
CHEDDAR: but then I’m just some chick dressed as I don’t know what
CHEDDAR: a penguin maybe
CHEDDAR: a furry penguin
DUBS: hmmm true

DUBS: Oh lovely, someone misused it’s in a marketing poster
DUBS: “come watch women’s basketball at it’s finest” my ass
CHEDDAR: what do you expect?
DUBS: nothing but the finest
DUBS: Go me for finding the error 🙂
CHEDDAR: congrats you are smarter than a paper clip
CHEDDAR: errr marketing person
DUBS: hahaha. so true

GINGER: i got your chain spam
CHEDDAR: my mom swears it’s legit
GINGER: haha
CHEDDAR: I’m not convinced
GINGER: i believe you
GINGER: and your mom
CHEDDAR: I’m just waiting for ashton kutcher to jump out of my closet
GINGER: hahaha
GINGER: sorry, all you get is jamie kennedy
CHEDDAR: dammit
GINGER: you have been XXXXX’ed!
GINGER: not quite the same ring to it

CHEDDAR: aw your boy clichy is so cute
CHEDDAR: with his accent
GINGER: haha
GINGER: i actually can’t say i’ve heard him speak
GINGER: i thought he was just a machine
CHEDDAR: apparently not
CHEDDAR: or if he is, he’s a machine that speaks english well
GINGER: hehe, quite possible
GINGER: he’s actually my favorite player on the team
CHEDDAR: either way he’s like a cute, widdle puppy
GINGER: lol
GINGER: well i wuv him
CHEDDAR: sky sports talked to him
CHEDDAR: about cesc
CHEDDAR: and gallas
CHEDDAR: i think he actually might be a machine
GINGER: ahahaha
GINGER: “We will rebuild him”
CHEDDAR: they had to reattach his finger
CHEDDAR: and it’s a miracle he survived
CHEDDAR: robot!
GINGER: bigger, faster, stronger
CHEDDAR: bionic
GINGER: gael clichy is…. the 6 million pound left back

GINGER: si se puede
CHEDDAR: inspiring and amazing
GINGER: it gives me “hope”
CHEDDAR: I like any campaign platform that involves being hot, speaking catalan and having perfectly coifed hair
GINGER: he is pretty much the spanish barack obama
CHEDDAR: with better hair
GINGER: although i’m not sure any of those apply to barrack
GINGER: cesc has better hair than everyone
GINGER: this goes without saying
CHEDDAR: he and drew mcathy are the only people in the world who can roll out of bed at 5 a.m. and still have every hair in place
GINGER: haha
CHEDDAR: too bad no one on spurs would look good all posterized
GINGER: although did you see when he went for the italian kind of thing with the skinny headband?
GINGER: it wasn’t pretty
GINGER: he looked like a wet chihuahua
CHEDDAR: every pro athlete needs time to experiment with headbands
CHEDDAR; it shouldn’t impede his campaign
GINGER: haha, true
CHEDDAR: “I didn’t inhale”

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