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It’s A Brand New Bright Obama Day

January 21, 2009

3214860472_fd3be6ee00_bI know it might be hard to believe, but living here in East Tennessee every second of every day constantly sometimes get the strong desire to be elsewhere. I have to admit that today was one of those days. The combination of weather in the teens, icy stairs at my house and temps in the 70s back in Cali would have anyone ready to book a flight to any other location if only someone would ship their stuff at a later point. But add to those things all the fun and excitement going on in Washington, D.C. today and you can just imagine how close I was to streaking in the quad making a break for it from my prison cell of an office. What with Al Roker running amok, Aretha Franklin singing, celebrities galore and, oh yeah, history being made, everyone north of the Mason-Dixon line most people can understand where I’m coming from.

So, in honor of both the historic day and the ridiculous antics of both celebrities and newscasters alike, I present Hold the Weak Sauce’s Inauguration Day Coverage (tape delayed from East Tennessee). Buckle up kiddies, you’re in for quite a ride (aka long post)…

First we have to start with the outgoing dudes President and Vice President. I’m not spending much time on this, and not to beat a dead horse, but Cheney in a wheelchair? Does it get any better? That’s straight up comedy served on a platter of laughter. I wonder if VP Biden knows about the giggle loop and if it happened to come up in the coffee with the Cheneys this morning. If it were me, the giggling would have never ended. I mean, it would have been like having coffee with Old Man Potter from “It’s A Wonderful Life” except nicer?

Hello again Biden. Do you have the money? Er, want some coffee?

Hello again Biden. Do you have the money? Er, want some coffee?

Going along those same lines, check out photo number 24 of this inauguration day slideshow. How could it not be followed with a group jumping shot, ala “Anchorman?” I mean, c’mon AP, you gotta get that together. At least there’s the fact that the new administration could actually perform that task, eh?

That's former President Bush, thanks!

That's former President Bush, thanks!

And now, moving on to more important things. History. One day after we celebrated Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s 80th birthday, his dream has begun to be realized. It was with amazement and pride that I watched as we installed a black man as our president. Decades after black Americans fought for equality and civil rights, black parents across our country can now tell their children that they can “be whatever they want to be” and finally mean it. As our new president said, the fact that “a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath” stands as an impressive statement on the social progress of our nation. If you get a chance look at the photos of Sasha and Malia just beaming at their father after the inauguration, you’ll see what I mean.

But, I digress from my stated purpose of entertainment and utter ridiculousness at today’s events.

Al Roker. AL ROKER! AAAAL ROOOOOKER! Ann Curry’s crazy clearly rubbed off on him. Either that or he was hammered. Possibly both. But we love him anyway…

Al’s madness was only the beginning of what turned out to be a day of over-the-top giddiness by the news media. It’s like everyone from NBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC and CNN decided to no longer even lightly mask their excitement. I suppose if I got to take part in history, get insider access, talk about fashion, where fancy clothes and bump into celebrities and get paid for it, I’d be stoked too. But they are supposedly professionals. I mean, if someone put me on MSNBC today, you could expect me to pee my pants act crazy with all the excitement, but get it together Curry, Olberman, Matthews, etc.

In the afternoon, as if Roker wasn’t enough, the madness came to a crescendo with Chris Matthews thinking (out loud, as usual) that the White House behind the president’s viewing stand for the parade was actually a painted backdrop, and no wonder it looked funny. This would have been fine, except that it was the actual White House behind the viewing stand. But don’t worry, someone corrected him on the air. Classic.

Meanwhile at the balls, NBC let loose a quintet of crazy on the unsuspecting celebrities, dignitaries and heads of state: Hoda Kotb (pretty obviously drunk at the first ever BET Inaugural Ball), Ann Curry (barely alive/stowed away in a trunk to get in), Maria Menounos (freezing cold), Lester Holt (making jokes at the Youth Ball) and Natalie Morales (clearly hasn’t spent too much time with Curry, as she was the most normal of them all).

Lastly, if I can move on to the celebrity sightings. First, I can’t believe there was no news network coverage of Don King’s jacket. Sure, he’s a self-described “republicrat” and money grubbing whore boxing manager, but I found it to be the biggest story of the day. We can only hope someone like Joan Rivers talks about this on E! tomorrow. Words don’t describe the patriot that is DON KING. (Sure, he’s worn the jacket before, but never, never at an inauguration!)

I also want to commend Aretha Franklin on the awesome hat. I mean, she has in the past had several fashion tragedies. But today, Aretha was R-E-S-P-E-C-T-ing herself and lookin’ good (I’m sorry, I had to go there, making funnies is hard!). The hat, the coat, the voice…amazing. Plus, she looked like a present!


And on a final note, the President and First Lady couldn’t have chosen a better song to dance to and Beyonce couldn’t have stuck it better. Spectacular. An awesome end to an historic day. Enjoy. And now onto the hard part. This is not the end, it’s just the beginning…

One Comment
  1. January 21, 2009 5:18 am

    ah I watched it last night too in tv over here, all of it. It was real good, Aretha franklin did looklike a gift with a big ribbon. The speech was moving. And the’)

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