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Things That Are Wrong with the World: Cinco de Mayo Edition

May 6, 2009

Yesterday, I finished grad school. Upon officially becoming a Master of Awesome, I figured it was time to celebrate. As I already discussed, there were high expectations for this celebration as the end of my grad school career, Cinco de Mayo and Tequila Tuesday were all combining to create one of the greatest trifectas in Cheddar history (see also: Cheddar, Fry & Twin’s European Adventure of ’06; Cheddar, Dubs & Creampuff’s Vegas Sneak Fest of ’05; Dubs, Donkey & Cheddar Do Earthday ’06). Somehow, though, things just didn’t seem to work out. Despite my good intentions, I fell flat on my face. And not in a good way.

Yes, there was tequila. There were crappy margaritas. The night did include Corona ponchos for our beers. And light up necklaces. There was even arroz con pollo. Yet, somewhere along the way, I ended up driving and babysitting the shitshow that is my friend Barbie, who is like the static cling of drama. And despite having minimal amounts of both tequila and margaritas, watching Barbie fawn over the boy who is not her boyfriend (Ant) and fret about the boy who is her boyfriend showing up and seeing them together and later fawn over the boyfriend, made me want to vomit. (This may or may not have been influenced by the fact that Ant and I are were involved in some sort of quasi-interested, this is weird set of interactions recently).

Anyway, all of this resulted in me playing drinking games on gchat with Dubs (which is also fun) because I was so sick of the drama. And the taste of bitterness in my mouth. How, you ask, does one play a drinking game through gchat? Well, there’s always the classic Harry Potter game. And then there’s this:

DUBS: smoke or fire
CHEDDAR: smoke
DUBS: NOPE

DUBS: suit
CHEDDAR: spades
DUBS: me
CHEDDAR: ha
DUBS: you, hearts
CHEDDAR: you know what i love about this
CHEDDAR: you could just be like, you, you you
CHEDDAR: since i can’t see tha cards
CHEDDAR: but no
DUBS: but I’m not
CHEDDAR: how ethical of you
CHEDDAR: in our drinking game
DUBS: cross-continent drinking game

You know you’ve hit a new low when you’re playing smoke or fire over the internet, whining about a boy, realizing how amazingly bad you are at interpreting signals from said boy and drinking Miller Lite in your bedroom at 1:30 a.m. on the day you finished grad school.

To top things off, my drunken roommate arrived home with a loud banging on the door after going out to celebrate finally being done with undergrad after SEVEN years. Thus, my night ended with me sober, Barbie texting me to tell me she “luvs” me and the smell of defeat lingering in my room (or was it all in my head?).

With all that, I came to the conclusion (for reals this time) that boys (cough, Ant, cough) who allow Barbie to hide them in a closet so that her bf won’t know they were fooling around are not worth my time and I need a change. Even Rev Run agrees (sometimes it’s like he’s in my head, man). And, although it came out of the mouth of Dr. Yang on Grey’s “Jumped the Shark” Anatomy, I’m going to follow this all important rule:

“If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, stop accepting crap and demand something more.”

Truer words have never been spoken (unless you count “Once you pop, you can’t stop”) Thus, I’m demanding something more and better. Which apparently all starts with a haircut on Friday. Wish me luck, send me cool hairstyles I should try, or tell me to stop writing crappy posts.

I’ll be over here, eating some Pringles if anyone needs me.

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2 Comments
  1. May 6, 2009 1:50 pm

    Dude, it’s not sad. The drinking game made my night!

  2. Cheddar permalink*
    May 6, 2009 1:52 pm

    Knowing that it made your night makes me feel better about myself and sad for you.

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