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Let’s Blow This Popsicle Stand

June 26, 2009

In honor of it being my last day of working as an indentured servant a graduate assistant and it being the first day of my last weekend as a proud resident of the Dirty Dirty, I wanted to share some things. In honor of the fact that I actually haven’t finished everything I’m supposed to have finished and the fact that it’s Friday and I’m lazy, there will be bullets. If you don’t like it, you can get outta my house blog.

Three Things I’ve Learned at This Job

1. House centipedes enjoy my office dark, old, musty dungeons places that should be condemned. They also can grow to be two inches and run up to 16 inches per second! Thanks Wikipedia!

Learning is fun?

Learning is fun?

2. If I ever get to the point where my coworkers or employees recognize that I’m nearby from the scent of my old school perfume wafting through the air, I want someone to take pity on me and slap me in the face or force me into retirement. Seriously people, go take a whiff of “Charlie” next time you are near a perfume counter from the 70s, then you’ll understand what I mean.

3. The best way to deal with an annoying officemate is headphones. Just because you act like a raging bitch to them, actually tell them to their face that you strongly dislike them, make fun of their nasaly voice and celebrate when they are out of the office, doesn’t mean they will take a hint and stop speaking to you.

Two Things I’ve Heard in this Place

1. “We always have three balls!” – My boss, during the soccer team photo. Uh, no comment.

2. “That’s what she said.” – Everyone. Still the easiest and best way to break up the monotony of working an event, especially when you are required to arrive 3 hours beforehand.

One Thing I’ve Done as an Employee

1. Allowed a good friend to sleep on the floor of my office. A floor I wouldn’t let my dog walk on, let alone risk being barefoot on. Fortunately, he’s still alive, which I can only attribute to the copious amount of alcohol which was coursing through his veins at the time. Liquor 1, Dirty, disease carrying, parasite infested carpet 0. And that, kiddies, is why you don’t play flip cup with Cap’n & Coke.

Three Things I’m Loving On My Final Day at Work

1. We have a winner in the 100th comment spectacular! Shawna was kind enough to come by and comment and now she is the comment champion. What does she win? Well, a few books including Travels with My Donkey and Fever Pitch and a sweet pair of aviators, among other things. Everyone make sure to congratulate Shawna on the epic win. And thanks to everyone else for always being comment champions! You guys rock my world.

2. Despite my sometime indifference when it comes to US Soccer Football, I have to say that the MNT really came out and impressed against the No. 1 team in the world (the Espanish) in the semifinal of the Confederations Cup. They stuck to their game plan and shut down two of the best strikers in the world thanks to some superb defense. I wish them luck in the rematch with Brazil in Sunday’s final. Despite the sometimes over-the-top theatrics, it was an historic match. Well done boys. And way to look good while doing it, eh?

They did it without hairbands. Photo courtesy the lovely ladies at Kickette.com

They did it without hairbands. Photo courtesy the lovely ladies at Kickette.com

3. Lastly,Β I’d be remiss not to include a video for you on this historic Friday. I’m not going to get nostalgic and depressed with the uber sad deaths of three iconsΒ  in one week (go see RS27 for that)so I think instead everyone should make fun of hippies with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Because Bonnaroo is fun…for me to poop on.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Happy weekending people! I plan to dance myself silly to as many MJ tributes as I can.

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8 Comments
  1. June 26, 2009 10:20 am

    Shawna is a whore.

    Just kidding.

    Mostly.

  2. Cheddar permalink*
    June 26, 2009 10:26 am

    I never said this contest wouldn’t get ugly. Stay tuned though…there may still be hope for you yet.

  3. June 26, 2009 5:57 pm

    LOL gotta appreciate a place where that’s what she said is used often. People here never think it’s funny. But maybe that’s because they’re Asian.

    Kidding ( maybe not ).

  4. June 28, 2009 8:35 am

    OUCH! LiLu, that hurt.

    Hahahahaha.

    Yippee for me for winning! If they arrive before the 13th, more books for me to read while I travel πŸ™‚ Thanks for the shout out.

    Some comments:

    1. You should have seen the amount of insects I came across while volunteering yesterday. I was weeding out a garlic bed and was completely grossed out. But it was fun.

    2. “That’s what she said” = a kind of “over” joke. Unless there are really good instances where you just. can’t. help. it!

    3. Flip cup with screwdrivers. Worst idea of my first year existence last year. It involves girls vs. boys. Fraternity boys. Streaking. 2 A.M. (in a college town which means around midnight). Fraternity row. And “three times.” Haha.

    4. I woke up at 5:30 to watch the South Africa V. Spain game for 3rd and 4th!

  5. June 28, 2009 12:14 pm

    & email address please?

  6. June 28, 2009 7:22 pm

    Thanks for the six-pack. Strong work. And now I’m off to have nightmares about centipedes. Hmm. Don’t hear yourself saying that often.

  7. Cheddar permalink*
    June 30, 2009 11:36 pm

    Andhari – I still stand by “that’s what she said” and I don’t care what anybody else thinks. I feel like maybe it doesn’t cross cultures as well? You crazy Asians

    Shawna – Click the link near the top of the sidebar to shoot me an email.

    Colby – Even after the loss on Sunday, those abs and faces still look pretty. Sorry about the nightmares. Always a good way to remind yourself that maybe your office isn’t so bad.

  8. July 1, 2009 8:06 pm

    Thatswhatshesaid is not an “over” joke. I’m slightly offended by the suggestion that it is.

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