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Move @$%*# Get Out the Way

July 17, 2009

In honor of my last day of making the commute (60 miles roundtrip) to and from my madre’s house to work, I’d like to say a few things to my fellow road users.

Dear Guy in White Car,
The fast lane is for people driving at least the speed limit, and usually faster. Please get the hell out of my way. I’m not sure you realize it yet, but your DODGE STRATUS probably tops out at around 60 mph. I know you see me tailgating you in your rearview mirror. Stop being a stubborn a-hole and make room for me. Thank you

Best of luck in your dead-end job,

Dear Hybrid Car Driver,
I know hybrid cars are good for the environment and I’m all for that. But you getting a free pass into the carpool lane so that you can drive 55 mph is just ludicrous. Those people lined up for a half a mile behind you? They would really like to arrive at their destination before the earth becomes a desolate wasteland. I think this is the exit for Whole Foods so get back to the slow lane where you belong.

Eat shit,

PS – Your car has an ugly butt.

My car is cuter than yours.

My car is cuter than yours.

Glad I could get that out of my system. Commuting by car is probably one of my least favorite things ever. Knowing that it would take me 25 minutes if there was no traffic and then sitting in the car for an hour because there was someone who had a fender bender parked on the shoulder 4 miles ahead is frustrating to say the least. The last time I was living in the Bay Area, I took the train to work and walked a mile to get to my office just to avoid traffic. I think that’s when I became a really avid reader. No school books to read, plenty of time spent on the train to get caught up in my books. Loved it.

Anyway, I don’t have much else for you because I hear none of you are reading anyway. Since it’s Friday and I had a bunch of songs come on my iPod this morning that reminded me of being back in KnoxVegas, I bring you an awesome song (as usual). It’s perfect because it’s about the Bay Area but is by a band (Lucero) from Memphis that is awesome and I actually saw live in the Dirty Dirty. So this one is for BigG and Tater. Rock out and happy weekending!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

  1. July 17, 2009 4:59 pm

    Well glad to hear you don’t have to deal with the white or hybrid car drivers. My commute to work is ridiculous as well. It takes me an hour one the best of days and that’s just one way!

  2. July 18, 2009 7:32 am

    Seriously, I almost wish I had a car, just because road rage posts are freaking HILARIOUS.

    P.S. The hybrid wasn’t going to Whole Foods. Definitely sniffing out a farmer’s market so it’s ORGANIC and grown by LOCAL FARMERS.

  3. July 18, 2009 4:29 pm

    You know, in the South, if people do either of the things referenced here, its acceptable to get up under their rear bumper and put them in the wall. That’s NASCAR’s contribution to the greater society.

  4. July 24, 2009 6:20 pm

    I think I was behind that same white car. Asshole.

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