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Better Off Dead

December 29, 2009

Remember that time when I was all, “hey I’m gonna start a blog and write about my wacky life?” and then I did but then either my life stopped being wacky or I became an even bigger slacker than I used to be? Yeah, well here we are: me, the ΓΌber blog slacker and you, the person who googled “cloudy pee” oddly dedicated reader.

I think I might be back with a vengeance or I may be getting waaaaay ahead of myself (most likely the latter). But I hear that around the end of the year normal people make resolutions to do better things in the next year or something. Since nothing around these parts qualifies as normal, I’m gonna go ahead and NOT do that. Especially since, so far, my list of things I want to do more of in 2010 includes: yelling (in a good way), kicking ass, blogging (instead of working), standing on things (tables, chairs, etc.), and using the word bitchen.

But, there’s change ahead, I think I can feel it. Either that, or I’m having a stroke. Does it smell like burnt toast in here? (Yes, I did just joke about strokes. Maybe this is why people keep their small children and pets away from me.)

Anyway, I’m not really sure where I was going with this, other than to say that maybe I’ll actually accomplish some of those things on that list I made because deep down inside I desperately want to be like Nicole (who is even cooler now that she’s The Bloggess‘ intern AND living across the Bay from me). And no, I’m not brown-nosing. I think it’s called a blog crush, or, at perhaps, mild creepiness and obsession.

Moving on, I’d just like to say that going forward I may be giving up free time that I should be spending helping the less-fortunate or working out, to return to my regular reading and commenting and writing which was much easier to do before I got what people keep telling me is a real job but in fact may be some sort of mini-series version of candid camera or punk’d. So, when I weigh 400 pounds and need a walker to get around, I’m going to blame the blogosphere. Which will probably result in me becoming a reality TV star, losing the weight, writing a hilarious blog about being overweight and making enough money to donate to charity to make up for the lack of community service. So I guess this new path is really going to work out for me in the end, so thanks in advance to all my favorite bloggers.

I’ve really careened off course here, although I don’t really remember what my original course was, so let’s just say I’m back on track. The good news is, I’ve got plenty to tell everyone because my life, in fact, has become more wacky in the last few months and, let’s get serious, with the holidays having just passed, I’ve got plenty of crazy family incidences to discuss.Β  And I mean crazy in the, ‘my parents indulged me/enabled my potential alcoholism by buying me chelada for Christmas,’ kind of way.

Don’t call it a comeback. No, really, don’t. I hear it takes 21 days to form a habit. And let’s be honest, the only thing I’m that dedicated to is drinking.

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4 Comments
  1. December 29, 2009 9:05 am

    Don’t apologize, my dear. This is YOUR place to do with whatever you want. Glad to see you pop up every now and then πŸ˜‰

  2. December 29, 2009 1:40 pm

    I like it when you update πŸ™‚ don’t worry about anything, this is YOUR space. Update whenever you want πŸ™‚

  3. December 31, 2009 1:11 pm

    I agree with Lilu.. Don’t apologize…. Happy New Year! Hope 2010 brings you much joy & success!

  4. January 1, 2010 1:36 pm

    You are awesome and need to stay awesome. Really. I write some blogs infrequently and practically no one reads them but whatever…as long as I’m writing for me, I’m happy. Or unhappy. It kind of depends on what drugs I’m on at the time. This whole comment was really unhelpful, wasn’t it?

    I apologize.

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