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I Digress…

February 23, 2010

It’s been almost an entire month since I wrote anything, thought about writing anything, looked at my blog (or anyone else’s for that matter). I have 80 bajillion things that I should be working on for work right now, but instead I wanted to say hi. And I miss you. And I’m now catching up on the 146 blog posts sitting in my reader that I hadn’t read. And you are all so brilliant I feel guilty knowing they were sitting there while I was at work busy correcting my moron co-worker’s mistakes and doing things that are definitely not my job.

That said, I think we need to discuss something much more important than my possibly ruh-tarded co-worker…

Azerbaijan Olympic pants

THESE PANTS

Do you know where Azerbaijan is located? It doesn’t matter because they had the coolest pants ever at the Olympic Opening Ceremony. I’m not much for snow and ice, unless were’ talking about the Jamaican bobsled team.

Some people say you know them can’t believe/Jamaica we have a bobsled team

cool runnings

You know you love it

But these are the most amazing pants ever. If I could wear these pants every day then maybe I’d change my mind about pants. But since these appear to be real pants and I’m pretty sure they are not appropriate for the workplace, they are definitely for suckers (no offense Azerbaijan). But if anyone can find them somewhere, and possibly make me a blanket and/or leg warmers out of them, I would love you forever and ever. And possibly offer you my first born child puppy. Either that, or find me an amazing job where I can wear these pants and/or work from home.

Despite my lack of affection for snow, after reading about the awesomeness that was snow day after snow day for LiLu and B, I’ve decided I may need to just up and move to somewhere with full-on, shut down the city, stock up on groceries snow. Where I live in California, it rains in the winter, that’s it. It rains. You know what happens when it rains? Everyone gets wet and people forget how to drive. That’s it. No movie days. No Secret Lives of Cats. No sweatpants. Just wet. That’s what she said.

One more thing, why didn’t anyone tell me to just man up and major in zoology in college? I mean, honestly, I could be hanging out with tiger cubs and testing to see if they really do hate cinnamon or figuring out why ants bury their dead right now. But no, I had to go into working in sports because I love sports and that would be so much fun! And as much fun as I have had at times, I’m really fucking jaded and cynical about my career choice at this point. I don’t think I’m supposed to be this jaded, I’m not even 30 or a cat-lady who wears scrunchies yet. I’m thinking someone should have just told me that I was being a pussy when I was afraid of taking chemistry, which sent me on my path towards a career in sports information. I’m pretty sure my friends and family hear from me less now than they did when I lived 2500 miles away.

Also, I think I may be developing a hunchback.

When I end up getting the dogs that will keep me company when I’m old and alone, could someone please remind me to teach them how to alert people when my dead body has been sitting in my apartment for several weeks?

In summary, please someone find me a cooler job, if possible one where I can wear Azerbaijan pants and is located in a place where I have a possibility of snow days.

Or at the very least, point me in the direction of a bell tower in France

SANCTUARY!

Or possibly find me a quality dog training course.

No one wants to end up eaten by their own furry companions.

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2 Comments
  1. February 23, 2010 5:21 am

    It was magical.

    The trick is to live somewhere in the MIDDLE. If I was still in Massachusetts, we wouldn’t have shut down even one day. But if I was still in North Carolina, they didn’t get enough snow.

    Happy medium, my friend, happy medium.

  2. February 23, 2010 7:04 pm

    Are those pants paisely?

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